I read Tyson Bley's poem. And now I want to write a story about the Chupacabra that broke God's heart.
I don't even know what a Chupacabra is.
How Chupacabra Broke the Heart of God
And God said, Let us create a being in our image, after our likeness, for God was alone in the universe.
And so He reached deep into the firmament and drew forth the essence of creation and formed it in His own image; He shaped smooth flesh with a sheen that surpassed the brilliance of the fish that swam in the seas. He created for his likeness powerful legs, a leaping counterpoint to the creeping creatures that crawled across the face of the earth. He breathed life into his effigy and gave it his own voice, so that it eclipsed the singing creatures of the air.
And God looked upon His creation, and He was dissatisfied.
And God said, Our image is beautiful, but We are in aspect terrible also.
And so God reached through the dry land, through the seas, deep into the earth and drew forth the void, and from the void he formed quills and fangs and claws and bound them to his effigy so that in aspect it would be as terrible as Himself.
And God saw what He had created, and He was pleased.
And God said unto His creation, I will name thee Chupacabra, and so God released the Chupacabra into the world of His creation.
And Chupacabra went forth into the world and swam with fishes of the seas, but they were envious of his beautiful scales and they sank to the depths. And Chupacabra sang with the birds of the skies but they were envious of his beautiful voice and fell silent. And Chupacabra frolicked with the creatures of the land, but they were envious of his grace and fell still.
And Chupacabra became angry and said unto the creatures of the earth, If thou shalt fall into stillness and silence and hide in the depths at my approach, I shall give reason to that fear. And Chupacabra embraced the terribleness of his aspect and laid waste to the world that God had created.
No creature of the earth nor bird of the sky nor fish of the sea that came within Chupacabra's reach was left unspoiled. Chupacabra harpooned the flesh of the fish with his terrible quills; he tore the throats of the birds with his terrible claws: he punctured the creatures of the land with his terrible fangs. This he did until the world of God ran with blood.
And when God saw what Chupacabra had done, He desired to unmake Chupacabra, but Chupacabra said, Oh Lord, I am as You have created me, beautiful and terrible, in Your own likeness.
And God knew what Chupacabra said to be true and that to unmake Chupacabra was to unmake himself, and so God banished Chupacabra to the dark places of earth, to the deepest forests and the farthest tundra.
And in these places, Chupacabra came to know the heart of God.
All the God stuff, I blame Glenn Haybittle and his King James Oracle for that. It's been in my head all day. And my deepest apologies to the actual, poor, beleaguered King James, which furnished my jumping off point.
 If my boss were an amusement park (Tyson Bley)
 Oracles (Glenn Haybittle)
 The Bible, Old and New Testaments, King James Version